Winter Blues

It's a new month, a new year. Combine that with my birthday, it's all things new and fresh. But this mark of a new start usually causes more anxiety than peace. There is a whole year ahead and I have no idea what it holds. 

I moved out of my parents house about two weeks ago now. Initially, I had big plans for moving out and making my way towards something "bigger" like LA or Chicago. Alas, I find myself here, on the Eastern Shore of Maryland, living in an apartment 15 miles from my parents house. 

Every winter I kinda freak out and question every decision I've ever made.

Why am I still here on the Shore?

Should I just move to LA?

Am I really silly to believe that I can make it work as a local filmmaker and photographer? 

I feel like there is a new fad among young people to flee and constantly be on amazing adventures, and while staying in one place (especially your hometown) means that you've failed. 

I'm constantly torn between wanting to leave and wanting to stay. On the one hand, if I leave, maybe if I move to California, I'll get discovered and be the next Mindy Kaling. But who says moving to LA has to be the way to get to true success?

First, what is true success? 

Second, what if this road is the one that makes me more interesting and more importantly, happy?

We have all heard the story of the LA transplant and that is all wonderful and I applaud anyone who does it, but I want to be a little different.

I want to live in a place that I like and work with clients that inspire me, all while being able to grab lunch with my parents or grandparents when I can. 

The Eastern Shore of Maryland is part of my identity. 

While I still love LA, and will not completely exhaust the idea (someday I will live there, I know), I want to make it work here. I am inspired here. 

So here's to 2017 of being a little uncomfortable in staying still.

 ...and I mean, who can leave this beautiful sight?!